The heavy weight of living
by Lynyrd Lionheart
Summary: Emma would want her family to be safe, and even when she was a realm away with no memories of him, he couldn't do anything but what Emma wanted. One shot


**AN: My return to CS writing! This is my take on how Hook made his way to Emma. Please enjoy…**

**The heavy weight of living**

Three hundred years was a long time to live.

Killian Jones had seen more and been more in his lifetime than any man really ought to be. He'd been the wide-eyed dreamer, he'd been the jaded traitor, the drunken pirate, and the vengeful villain. Different identities born of different times in his life.

It wasn't until _Her_, that learned to be all those things, that pirate and lieutenant didn't have to be two mutually exclusive things. Emma had taught him to breathe again after three hundred years of drowning in hate. She'd taught him to hope, to love, and now she was gone.

Separated from him by an entire realm.

It was entire too easy to fall back into old habits; to let the lieutenant disappear once more in favor of wholly becoming the pirate. This time more drunk than vengeful, but neither the hero he'd been starting to embrace.

"Have you heard?"

"About the Witch? Everyone says she's sworn to destroy the Evil Queen."

"Let her. If the villains are turning on each other now, it leaves the rest of safe."

Killian felt his ears perk against his will at the mention of Regina. He'd left the lot of them behind to find his ship, but if someone were out to destroy the Evil Queen…

_Her_ parents were too much like her… Snow and David would never allow Regina to face this new villain alone. Not when they were just starting to reach an uneasy truce. They would feel the need to stand at Regina's side, no matter how foolish an idea it might be.

Killian tried to turn his attention back to his ale, to ignore the whispers of patrons next to him, but he found himself being drawn to their words against his will.

"They say she has a curse, they do."

"Another one? Will it take us all this time?"

"Rumors. Bah! Everyone knows the Dark One is dead and gone, and he's the one that made the first possible."

"Still, what if it's true?"

It wasn't his business. He was away from the Enchanted Forest, and once he went back to the Jolly Roger, he'd travel further away yet. The problems of the royals were no longer his, not when _she _ was no longer here to make his strive to be a good man. Not when he had nothing to tie him to them anymore.

_She has Snow White's eyes_.

The thought rose unbidden, and it made him think of those green, green eyes, and how they shone not just in _her _face, but also in her mother's.

_She has David's courage_.

Another comparison, and it made him think of how bloody like her father she was. How they would both stand against anything to save the ones they loved, and wasn't it just bloody galling, to be reminded that while he loved _her_, he bloody well liked that irritating prince as well?

He didn't want these ties. He wanted to be left to his ship and his drink. He wanted to be able to mourn for _her_, for what they could have been but would now never discover, in peace. He still remembered his last view of her, tears in her eyes and a whispered _good_. He'd kept his promise, hadn't he? He'd thought of her every day.

_Emma Swan_.

And thinking her name made his resistance crumble, and he threw coins on the bar with a muffled curse. He strode past the group of gossiping patrons, giving them a glare that had them all but pissing themselves in fear as he passed. Had he been able to continue on in blissful ignorance he could have continued with his life as it was, sailing and getting drunk. But now?

Now he would return to the bloody Enchanted Forest and offer his bloody assistance, because what else could he do? Emma would want her family to be safe, and even when she was a realm away with no memories of him, he couldn't do anything but what Emma wanted.

THWOL

_We need Emma. There is a new curse coming. She is our only hope._

"Would be nice if the woman could've signed it," Killian muttered, looking at the bird perched on the wheel of the ship. It quirked it's head, almost as if it understood him, and Hook shook his own in return. "I think I need a crew. I've been away from company too long if I'm speaking to birds."

In response, the bird ruffled its feathers and chirped before taking to the air. Killian watched it go, his hand clenched around the vial of potion it had brought with it. A memory potion, that would allow Emma to remember them all. To remember him. He had spent close to a year mourning for her, and now, finally, he had the excuse he'd been so desperately searching for. A reason to return to her, to make her remember him. One that wouldn't leave him feeling like the most selfish of men. He gave a smirk to the sky, after the bird, before hooking the wheel and steering it away from his original destination.

"I don't suppose she could have given me some help. World hopping isn't the easiest, now is it?"

He grumbled, but he already had a destination in mind – a man in mind. He knew of others who could travel realms, and if anyone could offer assistance, it would be one man.

Killian only hoped that Blackbeard didn't kill him first and ask questions later.

THWOL

"Now, Laddie, to what we owe the great, great honor of meeting with the dreaded Captain Hook?"

Killian wanted to scowl and tell Blackbeard to sod off and take his attitude with him. But he needed his help, and while Killian could be a snarky bastard, he also knew that angering a pirate captain when being held at sword point by half a dozen crew members was a sure way to get yourself skewered. Instead, he held his arms up in a sign of peace and tried to ignore the ring of swords around him as he addressed Blackbeard.

"You have a vast knowledge of magic," Killian said. "For a pirate, at least. I seek a way to travel across realms."

"Oh? Here, I thought you were the one with the vast knowledge of realm hopping. It's what your vessel was made for, was it not?" Blackbeard replied, his eyes filled with calculation. "Bet you're wishing you didn't burn that Pegasus sail now, aren't you boy?"

Killian bit his tongue and tried to keep a neutral expression on his face because, yes, he had been regretting that rash action in the past several days. He hated having to ask anyone for help. Coming like a beggar to Blackbeard was even worse, because he knew how the other man coveted the Jolly, and that meant Killian knew exactly what price the man would ask in return for his aid.

"As it were, I know a thing or two, and I might be willing to share that knowledge. For a price."

Ah, Blackbeard never did disappoint.

"For a price, I'll need a bit more than information, _mate_," Killian bit off, then bit back a hiss when one of the crew members got a bit too close with sword, disliking what he perceived as disrespect against his captain.

"Well then, how about an audience with Calypso herself?"

Killian found himself speechless at first.

"No one can get an audience with her but… _Him_." Killian refused to say the name, a name that haunted him three hundred years later and was a reminder Killian didn't want.

"Aye, usually not," Blackbeard agreed. "But as it is, I did the sea witch a favor. She'll answer me, once."

"And you'd use that for me?" Killian asked, feeling very, very suspicious. "Why? What could I possibly offer you that would gain that high a price? You could live a hundred more lifetimes and never gain another audience with her."

"That's true, but the rumors say you believe there's a lass in another realm that is your true love." Blackbeard wiped away an imaginary tear. "You know me, such a sucker for true love and happily ever afters. What kind of a man would I be if I denied you yours."

"I'm sure," Killian agreed dryly. "You are known for being so very altruistic."

"I know, a damn difficult reputation to live with, I tell you. As it is, I can't help you for free… not when it will take such a high cost. But for your ship" – there it was – "and one other little thing, I will happily grant you this favor."

"What other favor?" Killian asked suspiciously.

"Well, now, show me your lovely ship and I'll tell you all about it."

THWOL

Killian stood on the stones of Calypso's island, where Blackbeard had left him once Killian and agreed to and signed a contract agreeing with his price. Now, all he could do was wait for the sea witch to answer his summons.

"You paid a very high price to find your way here, Killian Jones."

"M'Lady," Killian replied, turning to the sea witch and bowing low. She was dressed in an outfit that looked to be made of Seaweed and gold that was stark against her dark skin. Killian had heard stories of her before, but never had he met her in person, and he found himself somewhat uncertain and rather speechless.

"No need to stand on ceremony. You're one of mine," Calypso came to stand next to him and looked out to the sea, where Blackbeard and the ships were disappearing over the horizon. "Love is a powerful thing. It can drive us to the most foolhardy of actions."

"She would want her family to be safe," Killian replied simply. "And I… I wish for her to remember."

"That may be more cruelty than kindness now, if what you believe to be true comes to be. You would give her love, only to tear it away."

"She would have her family. Her parents. She loves them."

"And you love her." Calypso held her hand out, and after a beat Killian took it. "Come, then. Let's get you to her realm."

"That's it?" Killian asked with a frown. "You'll simply send me to her, no questions asked?"

"Oh, Killian," Calypso laughed and gave him a pitying look. "What could I ask of you that you haven't already sworn?"

THWOL

He had found his way to the land without magic. He had reunited Emma with her family, had returned her memories of them all. He had assisted in the witch hunt, and now, finally, it was time to put the Wicked Witch down.

She thought she'd beaten them, when she had cursed Emma with a sleeping potion she had taken from Regina, but that had failed, because Killian was Emma's true love – he had known it of course, but the look on Emma's face when she had realized it had been both heartbreaking and beautiful.

Beautiful, because she realized what they had, and her smile had been breathtaking.

Heartbreaking, because Killian knew what was yet to come, and he hadn't realized how painful it would be.

But Zelena would not give in with grace, and she had decided that if she was to go, she wouldn't go alone.

And now he was on his knees before her, her with a hand in his chest.

"Let him go!" Emma snarled out desperately. "Take me instead!"

It made him feel almost light, to know that he now belonged to that small group she would sacrifice anything for, that his love was requited, and that though he would never deserve her, she _did_ belong to him, however brief their time together would be.

"No, Lass. Let her have me," Killian replied. "Henry needs you."

"Oh, the pirate is being a hero. How sweet," Zelena purred, and she tugged at his heart.

It didn't move.

She and Killian both frowned down at her hand, still stuck in his chest.

"What on Earth… what have you done, pirate? Why won't this work?"

"How the hell am I supposed to know, witch? It's never done that before!"

Zelena scowled at him and tugged again, but still no movement.

"You cannot take what is no longer his to give, witch."

Killian closed his eyes at the voice, and wished that he could curse his life, because of course another couldn't take his heart and his life, not when he had already sworn it away.

"Calypso," he gasped out as Zelena's hand was removed from his chest. "Lovely to see you."

"I'm sure it's not," Calypso replied, coming to kneel at his side. "But here I am. I told you once, you're one of mine. I always answer the call of my own."

"I didn't call for you," Killian replied, trying to ignore the way that Emma and her family watched him and Calypso, confusion written across their faces.

"Didn't you?" Calypso replied with a too sharp smile before she stood and walked toward Zelena. To Killian's surprise, the red head actually seemed somewhat nervous as she backed away from the sea witch. "You tried to steal that which doesn't belong to you, Zelena of Oz."

"I didn't know his heart wasn't for the taking," Zelena replied stiffly when Calypso reached her, her hands coming up to hold the witches cheeks.

"Perhaps not, but that doesn't negate what you did. The sea is not forgiving, witch, nor is it merciful to the ignorant." Killian could feel the power in Calypso begin to rise as she spoke, and before all of their shocked eyes, that power began to surround Zelena and she began to…

_Melt?_

"The sea is a torrent, and the ignorant merely get washed away," Calypso continued, as Zelena began to scream. As the sea witch spoke her last words, the wicked witch disappeared. "The wizard says hello."

Zelena gone, Calypso turned back toward Killian. Emma had joined him, and was hugging him close, while David and Henry were on his other side. All of them were watching Calypso – The Charmings with wariness, Killian with resignation.

"I told you it would be more cruelty than kindness," Calypso said, coming to a halt before them. The other Storybrooke denizens surrounded them, obviously feeling the tension and prepared to defend their own.

"I thought I would have more time," Killian replied, closing his eyes against the pain he knew he was to bring to them all.

"Rarely do we get the time we desire. You have a price to pay, signed in blood, Killian Jones."

"What's she talking about, Hook?" Regina asked the question they were all thinking from her place at Robin's side.

"The price I pay. The one I promised to find you," Killian looked into Emma's eyes, and he could see horror dawning in them as she began to put the dots together.

"What did you _do_?" she demanded in a pained whisper.

"To get here, I had to make a deal with Blackbeard. He would gain me a meeting with Calypso, and in return, he got the Jolly… the Jolly, and my soul."

"Your soul?" David demanded. "Why on Earth would he need that?"

"He didn't," Calypso responded before Killian could. "The soul was for me. It's Blackbeard's price, you see. In order to regain his own ship, he swore the souls of a hundred men. He is on a timeline."

"Why would you _do_ that?" Emma demanded. "I'm not worth it!"

"Ah, don't you realize yet, lass?" Killian asked, running his hand down her cheek. She looked at him with watery green eyes, and Killian pulled her down, kissing her with all the love he had in him. When they finally had to breathe, they just separated far enough to let the air in, and then Killian spoke against her lips. "You're worth any price."

"Don't go," she whispered. "We'll figure something out… or I'll come with you!"

But they both knew she couldn't, not with Henry there. Because as much as Emma loved her pirate, Henry came first.

"I wouldn't have it any other way, lass. Your boy is the best of you and his father, and he needs you. And he'll remind you that you're loved, even if I can't." Killian ruffled Henry's hair, and the boy looked up at him heartbroken, because the two of them had grown close, and it hurt Killian to know he was hurting the lad. "Take care of your mother, Lad. And remember those constellations I taught you for finding your way home."

"I will," Henry promised, and when Killian got to his feet, Henry took his spot at Emma's side.

"You are ready?" Calypso asked.

"As I'll ever be."

The sea witch opened her portal, same as the one that had sent Killian to this realm in the first place, and motioned for him to step in.

"I'll find you!" Emma called after him, and Killian looked back to see her watching him, her green eyes fierce and filled with promise. "You crossed worlds for me? Well, I'll do the same. And I'll find you. I'll bring you home, even if I have to fillet a sea witch to do it!"

Killian wanted to go back to kiss her again, but Calypso grabbed his arm, pushing him toward the portal.

"I think you mean that, Ms. Swan," she said with one of those sharp smile. "I think I may look very much forward to seeing what you are made of."

Killian's last sight of his love was of her eyes glaring at Calypso, determination written on every piece of her stiff form, and Killian felt hope rise in his chest.

After all, he had never seen his Swan fail.

**AN: And there it is. As you can see, there was some heavy **_**Pirates of the Caribbean**_** inspiration in there. Story title comes from "The Weight of Living Pt. 1" by Bastille. I suggest listening to everything Bastille they are amazing.**

**I'm currently working on a CS/Rumbelle multi-chapter fic that is called "King and Lionheart" so keep an eye out for that. Until then, let me know what you think of this, and if you would like a continuation.**


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